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| The Wittenburg Door |
It's been four years since my personal life changed
immeasurably, and after many years of therapy, I feel like I'm turning a corner
and want to plant a flag, so to speak, as I move forward. Please join me by interacting with some of
the lessons I have learned (and will probably never be done learning).
Like Martin Luther, I've realized that it's how we think
that shapes how we live. His 95 Theses
are often seen as the catalyst that launched the Protestant Reformation. A similar, explosively new way of thinking
came to the Apostle Peter through a vision in Acts 10-11.
"10:28 God has shown me that I should not call anyone impure or unclean."
If you think about the entire foundation of Jewish law and
practice until then, this was a revolutionary insight! God went to extraordinary measures to make
sure Peter and the early church got it.
I can identify with Peter in wrestling through and accepting new,
life-altering ways of thinking.
So here are my personal game changers. By implication, you
can see some of the lies I've been entangled in. Maybe you have a few of these thought
patterns too?
- God's
love is a gift that I cannot earn by being better than I am or destroy by
being worse than I am. I am worthy to receive it because HE created me,
chose me, redeemed me and lives in me.
- I
don't need to be right or perfect.
I'm okay. I'm human. I'm still worth a lot to God.
- My
ex's rejection of me, betrayal of his vows, etc, etc has more to do with
him and his choices than my deficiencies.
(Help thou my unbelief!)
- I am
not responsible for anyone else's choices, but will be held accountable
for mine.
- I
need security and significance, not everyone else's approval. (Larry Crabb)
- Therefore,
I need to move the locus of my identity from outside myself, to inside of
me.
- And,
act out of my God-given values, not out of fear of what others think.
- Do
it afraid- do not ever make life-limiting choices based on fear (except
to wisely heed everything my parents taught me:).
- Suffering
is often more about people's poor choices (including mine) than punishment
because I've messed up.
- When
things go wrong, it's not necessarily God punishing me. Looking at many Bible heroes’ lives, when
things go wrong, it's probably the RIGHT direction.
- Bad
things happen in life- it's perfectly normal. When I long for it to be different, it's obviously heaven that I'm eager for.
- "In
this world you will have trouble, but fear not, for I have overcome the
world!" Jn 16:33
- Speak
up, stay present in relationships.
By not talking about what needs to be talked about, I don't win
(peace at any cost, costs too much!).
I lose, we all lose.
- Don't
be angry at God for not keeping promises He never made. (Check it out, you
might have a few too!) "I will
never change, I will be with you" are promises I can count on.
- Thinking
differently than someone else doesn't need to threaten or diminish either
of us, if we can respect each other's individuality.
- Stop
giving more than God wants to give through me, than what He has given me
to give away. After all, I am NOT the Messiah.
- Add
up all the stresses, fears, opportunities and joys of the day to
come. Then put God in the equation
first- He makes ALL the difference!
One last note: Yes,
many of these lessons learned came about through a failed marriage, but every
one of them has application to my daily life, and to my relationship with myself, God, family, refugees, co-workers and friends.
For that I'm immeasurably grateful.
So, what do you think? Any you'd add?